Illegal Alien’s Boycott

Stardate, oh, wait, that’s pajama boy talk.

It was “Happy Hour” at Quark’s. The place was jamming. Wall-to-wall people, so it was a bit of a challenge getting a seat at the bar. I managed anyway, as I spotted the Doctor busily knocking back a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

“Ah, Kahuna, How have you been?” the Doctor asked.

“Thirstymind if I join you.”

“Not at all. I see the boycott hasn’t impacted business.”

“Boycott?”

Yes. Haven’t you heard? All of the undocumented workers across the Federation did a one day walkout, protesting some nonsense about their legal status.”

“That would explain all the Jem’Hadar lurking around the place, sporting Delta Quadrant flags.” I had noticed quite a few of them around Deep Space 9 today, but didn’t think much of it. They’re always hanging around the Promenade looking for day jobs where the pay is strictly under the table. That way they keep below the Federation’s Immigration and Naturalization Service’s radar. Nothing more embarrassing than having losing a war with your neighbor, slipping in under the border, getting forged documents and starting a new life.

I caught Quark’s attention and signaled for my usual pint of Guinness with a Tribble Sweat chaser. As busy as it was, Quark managed to show up with my pint and shot fairly quickly.

“Kahuna, enjoying the Boycott?”

“Should I be?”

“Not reallyseems like every illegal alien in the quadrant is here today. I hear Tunok’s is booked solid until past midnight. Not just the Jem’Hadar showing up either. Cardassians and Romulans and Borg.”

“Oh, my,” said the Doctor.

Quark and I both shot him a look.

“Sorry. Just had to say it.”

“Right. Well, since Tunok’s is shut down, how’s the grilled tauntaun?”

“Excellent. Yoda is busier than a two-fisted iron chef in the kitchen tonight, but I can get you taken care of in a jiffy,” Quark responded.

“Great. Since every place on the station is swamped, especially your place, it’ll beat eating with Cisco, or going back to my ship.”

“Exactly. Besides, you’re one of my best customers. And I always take care of the best with the best. Grilled tauntaun coming up.”

“Add some tribble kebobs with that, would you?”

“Certainly.” Quark said, then headed off to the kitchen.

“Quark is right, all of the bars and restaurants are swamped. The only businesses that are shut down are a number of Federation Agencies and the schools. Joined the boycott, it seems. Station personnel have been doing a lot of their shopping, and many of the shops have been running special Boycott Day’ specials. Even Garrick has gotten into the act. And he’s got his green card the normal way,” said the Doctor.

I looked around. If the Feddie’s INS came in here, they would have a field day. Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were out enjoying the boycott as well.

Kahuna out